Technology Can Help! - Interactive

One of the biggest reasons parents DON’T talk about sex with their teens is because they are uncomfortable. These conversations can be awkward and embarrassing for teens AND their parents. Using technology to mediate these conversations can bring some relief!

When we interviewed teens, they shared that they will start a conversation with their parents through tech when they are worried about what the parent’s reaction might be.

And we can all relate to this – how many of us have sent a text or email because you didn’t want to have a tough conversation face-to-face?

Face-to-Face vs. Using a Buffer

In this video, we consider why face-to-face communications might not always be the chosen—or best—mode of communication.

Transcript and Reference: Face to Face vs. Using a Buffer

There are benefits to using technology…

We’ve seen that tech-based communication might be preferred and offers certain benefits to teens and parents alike. If you’re a parent, you may have already seen this in action.

Some years ago when the #MeToo movement was in the news, a parent and teen had this exchange. The family was together in the kitchen getting ready for the day and the television was on. The news anchor used a vague term—“perform”—to refer to a sexual act. A few minutes later, the teen, who was now in her room continuing to get ready for the school day, texted her mom this message:

“What does perform mean?”

They had all been together in the same space when the teen heard this term. But she waited until she was in her room, physically separated from her mom, to ask this question—and she asked it via text.

You can use this strategy too. Want to start a conversation but unsure how? Try sending a question or conversation-starter via text. You can open the door to conversation, choosing to continue it via text or in person.

We can also use technology to share things we can’t easily share in real life. For example, you can share:

Links: share teen-specific information sites you trust, so your teen doesn’t have to search on their own. You don’t have to know everything to connect your teen with the information they need.
Videos: send visual information through videos, such as the steps for properly applying a condom.
Articles, blog posts, etc.: Sometimes even just a headline is enough to get the conversation started. Ask your teen for their take on something you’ve read about teens and sexual health.

Resources for Teens

…But there are limitations!

Though we encourage you to think about how technology can help you have conversations about sex with your teen, there are limitations. As with any other technology-based communication, it can be difficult to interpret a message’s tone and there are fewer social cues to help assess the broader context of a conversation.

Don’t let these limitations trip you up: keep your tech-based messages nonjudgmental and relatively short. Technology is a tool to make these conversations easier but should not replace face-to-face discussions. Even your teen is likely to want to have some of these conversations in person.

Build Your Tech Skills!